Revisiting my Love....

Found this from a blog I deleted a long while back. This is from July 2008.


So, I keep searching for You. ikeep looking in places where I've been, places where we've met. I can't find you there, so I keep searching. You draw me to you with your love, with your eyes. seeing you face to face makes my heart beat in ways Inever knew it could, seeing you makes me watn to give you all i have and more, seeing you makes me forget everything else and run to you...I need you every day, every moment. you consume me with your presence, you consume me with your love, you consume me with a desire for just you. I want to live in your presence and never leave, I want to spend every waking moment thinking about you, talking to you, in your arms wrapped in your comfort. i want to be with you forever and never leave. can you make me remember how this feels for always, can you make me to live with you forever in every day. can you make me to remember how it feels in your presence when i am away from this moment? i feel your love as its everlasting presence is revealed in your touch. i can see no end to what you can do when i am with you. i see what you can do with my life when I am with you. i see who i am when i am with you, i see who you are when i am in your presence. you make me.


I need this hunger again!!!

Dreams and Passions

And living life...

There's a place deep inside me that longs for more than what is here, more than what I can see and touch and taste and feel. A longing that is only satisfied by the Presence of my Creator. And there's something inside me that wants desperately to sing...to sing at the top of my lungs with all that I have within me and sing to Him, sing for Him, sing about Him.

And I saw a dream of being on stage, leading many to worship Him as well.

And then when He asked me to sing for Him, I became afraid. For I know I am not enough, and my faith is small and I doubted His strength to help me. I became afraid for I was afraid of people, afraid of what they think of me, how I look to them.

I've been laughed at, mocked, beat up and left out for most of my life. The thought of standing in front of all kinds of people terrified me.

Then, He began to deal with me.

I almost drowned in the summer of 2009. Faced fear of dying.

Taking me to the fears I've held on to, He is taking me to the place of trusting Him completely, or at least a little more perfectly.

Fear of losing my kids? Let it go.
Fear of losing my mind? Battled that one too.
Fear of letting others see who I really am? Facing that one.
Fear of not having enough? Enough of what??? That place is only satisfied by Him.

Fear of succeeding? I think this one is next...